My Story

I had to put in a lot of time thinking on this Reverb. I kept asking myself which part of my life story is MY story. What have I experienced that has made me the woman I am today? In thinking, reflecting and thinking even more,I think I have several stories at my core depending on what the subject matter is.  I guess if I have to just pick one, my ultimate truth is love.  Love comes in all shapes and sizes but love is the most powerful force there is.  Love is our biggest gift we have to give and simultaneously our greatest weapon.  

Love never fails.

I’ve definitely had that premise challenged.  I’ve had my share of betrayals… and they have put me on my duff and made me question my core beliefs.  Question God, the universe, the divine within, whatever way you’d like to look at it.  But in the end, once all has been reviewed.  Once all the hurt has been tallied, the only way to combat the situation is to love.

So, I always seem to come back  to my core story.  To love is to live. That love isn’t male or female, it doesn’t have a color, nor age, nor home town.  Love is universal.  One size fits all as they say.

To forgive another is to love yourself enough to let go of the poison that would be there otherwise.

To concede and let go of the right to be right, is to love without defending your ego’s need to domination and ownership.

To cease to compare is to love yourself and others enough to value what each one brings to the table.

Whenever I’ve felt lack, it’s been because of a deficit of love.  I’ve found over the years that love is hardest to give to myself. I am much quicker to give it away than to embrace myself when needed.  I don’t know if there is some sort of heroic feeling associated with being able to love those that hurt us, but I’d do that in a heartbeat before I would give myself a break. 

The ego celebrates  it when we stop our self love in it’s tracks. Losing to my ego in the past has given me a fairly strong distaste for it’s fruits.  I’ve learned the only way to shut it down is not to submit to it, but to love beyond it.

I share this love story in several different ways.  With children I attempt to model the love I desire to grow within them.  That is holding them accountable, but clearly identifying difference between daughter and task.  It means not criticizing, not tearing down, encouraging, motivating, spending time and sharing myself.  Teaching them to combat opposition with love not defense,  to give merely out of love and a desire to bless another and not to get back in return.  I forgive and don’t guilt and I ask for grace when I need it, to show my weaknesses and discuss them so they see that it isn’t just them that fears or questions.

Similarly at work I facilitate teams.  So I encourage objectivity, positive actions, engagement, responsibility.  I make sure they know how much faith I have in their abilities and creativity and continually recognize what they already have within themselves.

In romance, I’ve taken a break for now, but my story, when there was some, went like this.  To truly love is to share ones whole self, open  and without secrets.  This does leave one in a vulnerable situation, but in order to experience the heights, the walls must be non-existent.  In this arena, I believe it’s all or nothing.  If you can’t give it all, why go there?  That’s the only place where you can really embrace the fullness of the gift you are being given.  I believe that when two are in such a strong agreement, there has to be a pretty darn strong force come in order to break that up.  But a house divided in any way, so to speak, will fall.

You get what you give out, what you focus on, what you put energy into…. put that energy into love and watch those intentions  flourish!

This is where I’ve seen the biggest shift in the past year.
My central story at this point in my life is one of a woman who is coming into her own. She has a lot of baggage, and she has blossomed. She is learning to be gentle with herself, rediscovering her own awesome, and dancing with the magical Universe.