Habits - 12 Things.

And I can honestly say, in retrospect, that I've made progress. Not with the numbers of the bank account or pant size as much as the inside stuff that's harder to work on. I'm not perfect and don't pretend to be, but I'm learning to own my own failures instead of blaming others. I'm no longer in denial though reality is still scary. I am still learning to make pretty good strides with chunking things down to make better use of my time, think in terms of absolutes much less often and added the bright and cheery color of coral to my wardrobe.

So my list this year? I'm wondering if the perennial favorites (less weight, more money, etc) don't belong on the list at all. Listen to any self-help guru long enough and they'll tell you that those things are really outward expressions of how we feel on the inside anyway. So why not start there instead? And instead of listing just 12 things I don't need, I think I'll get all wild and crazy and split it down the middle to add things I do need. 'Cuz that's how I roll.

Don't needs:

Guilt. Doesn't matter what it's over, it keeps me stuck and feeds the ick. It's worn out its welcome and is free to move along.

Denial. I'm not talking in terms of diet, but rather denying myself the self care I deserve. Denying my body good, wholesome food, water and kindness. Denying my need to pretend I'm creative. Denying my need for sleep. I'd be much better off without denial.

Sugar. This is one of those things that I know but ignore. I know that I feel gross after too much sugar. Yet I indulge anyway. Finding a lovely replacement might be a start.

Clutter. I struggle with this. I equate a certain amount of clutter--stuff--with homey. I see completely clear spaces and think 'empty' instead of zen. But surely there's a happy medium, right? 

Late fees. Hate 'em. 

Doubt. In myself, God's plan and the love of others. 

What I need more of:

Water. My biggest challenge is drinking water. How whacked out is that?! Much like my sugar struggle, I know how good I feel when I drink it yet I resist. Go figure. 

Yoga. For one blissful month I stretched and sweated and grew. I loved every minute of it. I need it not only for my body but for my mind, my emotions and my sanity. 

Prayer.I don't really know how to pray. I do believe it's high time I figured it out. 

Faith. Not only in God but in myself, my kids and the goodness that surrounds us. 

Winning lottery tickets. Seriously, that would make things so much easier 

Change 28.12.11

Changes that were... Drinking & Smoking
At this point, I decided to stop drinking and smoking. Even though I was very, very good at it ::shrugs::. (note sarcasm :))

That was one thing definitely under my control, but it was getting a little out of control.

Changes that weren't...Maturity 
Wisdom comes with age. You can choose to ignore it or you can embrace life's lessons. Mistakes bring lessons that smack you square in the face. I'm probably making mistakes as I'm writing this post. However, one of the things about maturity is realizing that it is impossible to get EVERYTHING right in life. What I mean is that... We'll mess up. We'll make mistakes. We'll do things wrong. And the blessing in all of that? It's all in God's plan. So the maturity that I wanted or didn't want, came anyway. It's not under my control, but it comes with time.

Unexpected Developments & Opportunities
At the beginning of the year,  things fell apart. I was sick. I had monetary issues. Opportunities? My entire future. There are just so many things that I would love to do in life... The important thing is to MAKE them happen. :) Be the change you want to see.

People make the world go round

Many have touched my heart. This year has been a difficult one for me. Having to juggle work, along with family and family with health issues has at times been overcoming, and my need for peace and comfort was regulated to many nights spent alone on the couch. I found so much love and humor and I found joy and the spirit of survival.

I miss so many people and a few things. I miss the loud booming voice of my grandfather. I miss his overwhelming presence and I can never discount the feelings shared, the comradery, and the love. It’s no surprise that I would miss any of the above. I’m a very “feeling” type of person, and it goes a long way, whether you are in my life or not. Your touch is like an imprint on my heart…never to disappear.

I have had the pleasure of meeting a lot of people this year, due to our circumstances and all worthy.Most importantly,I met the love of my life. I look forward to a wonderful 2012 and wish to meet more people like you, positive, focused, spirit-filled individuals that make my life a joy!

Life is a Beautiful Struggle

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt,  just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone…

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every  month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing  than crying alone..

8. It’s OK to get angry with God.  He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with  your first paycheck..

10. When it comes to chocolate,  resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your  life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all  about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you  shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the  blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never  blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what  you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21.  Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.  Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the  brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is  none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is,  not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35.  Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it  now..

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours  back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up  and show up..

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a  gift. 


Life is a pain...if someone is saying different,he is trying to sell something.But the pain is worth it.The struggle hasn't paid off yet but am sure the new year will see a difference.

Moments take my breath away

I again mis-dated the reverbs.But I feel for December 25th its the best coz the best gifts of life are not found under the christmas tree,its friends,family & the ones you love and its them whose presence makes moments in our life.MERRY CHRISTMAS to All.

Moments that moved, shocked, humbled, and freed me. So, instead of choosing just one of those moments, I will use 2011, the year, as a benchmark, a reference point by which I can measure all things to come and remember that the best moments are those that are spent with the people you love most doing that things that make you the happiest.

My defining moment this year was really less defining and more moment of desperation.  I hit a major wall around the middle of the summer.  I had pretty much reached my limit of aimless meandering and needed to find some direction – to make some sort of change or else I was pretty sure I was going to have a nervous breakdown.

So I conceded to get some help from the resources around me.  I am lucky to have supportive friends, family and all manner of other mentors and networks.  So a couple of them set about kicking my ass into action.

Though there was no great turnover yet I hope for a brighter year.

So my defining moment this year came from the fact that I needed some help. And I was good enough to admit it to myself.  There is nothing wrong with getting a bit of help.  The proviso of course, is that you have to admit it or else you’ll just go on along.  It took a lot of putting preconceptions aside in order to make it happen.

I knew I couldn’t do it alone.  And I’m better off from it.

The best things that happened to me was : 

A new relationship

Staying put,for once

Seeing my parents finding in small things like reading a message.

 

Child-like Christmas

"Merry Christmas darling 
We're apart that's true 
But I can dream and in my dreams 
I'm Christmas-ing with you "

This was my Christmas TheMe song.

Well,I had my share of fun too.Every Christmas,I wake up with a child in my mind.I still believe in the Santa Claus and pray to him that he will do good to me the year through.After long time,I had spent my Christmas with my parents and it was completely in the old-Calcutta style.We went to Park Street to see the elaborate light decorations with the crowd.Then we shopped and ate and it was a berry merry Christmas exactly like my childhood.

The Arts : Making vs.Consuming.

The Earth without Art is just Eh.I can immerse myself in creativity and make my life...thats how I want to see my life as;thats how I want to see myself more in 2012.


Well,music has been random,whichever number I liked,I heard it often;not much a music person.So sometime it was Pitbull,sometime it was Rockstar songs.
As every year, I have watched a lot of movies but hardly any made mark.Instead I enjoyed the movies I watched at leisure on my laptop like Wrong Turn 4.It was surely not an year of good movies.
Books, yes, I read The Secret,which is a nice and I hope I can hold onto the faith,the same I had while reading it for the first time.I read a lot of impressive blogs.Not to forget,I liked Why Women Cry & Why Men Lie.


I wish 2012 sees me more into reading,writing,sketching and unfurling more of my imaginations.

Be AMAZED : No moment is every truly ordinary

I confused and wrote my today's reverb yesterday,so today its time for yesterday's...I always say life is a continuum.We dont remember dates,we remember moments.


There is a statement from the book of Ecclesiastes “There is nothing new under the sun.” And I disagree with that statement! I would say there is nothing stale under the sun, except that human beings become stale. I try not to be stale.  And everything is new. No two moments are alike – and a person who thinks that two moments are alike has never truly lived.”

– Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel

Everything passes. Even joy. Even pain.So I try to find beauty in everything I do or see.

Time when Rahul was Unwell

There are no truly ordinary moments in my house. Mundane, repetitive and common perhaps. But never ordinary.I see wonder in everything, am joyous when I have no logical reason to be happy and have far more energy than I remember ever having. The gift of an ordinary day is something I have that countless others don’t. I forget that sometimes. I shouldn’t.Unwavering belief that spilling sprinkles on the floor.Ordinary joy comes to me from love and peace;when my boyfriend dedicates a song to me,when we talk in our signature language,when we go for haircut together,when I sit in the house I grew up with my parents,when I sit inbetween them and laugh,when I see myself in mirror blow drying my hair.

     ....sometimes it's more than just enough

When all that you need to love

Is in front of your eyes.

    (February Song - Josh Groban)

My Happie Feet

ACHIEVE

I want to learn how to concentrate and focus better

With so many distractions around, and juggling several major tasks at the same time. I find it very hard to actually turn away from the world and concentrate on one single task.

I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I am doing one task, the another task comes into my mind, then I open a folder on my computer to do something, think of something else and note it down, and by the time I turn back to my screen I've forgotten why I actually opened that folder.

I would really love to learn how to silence all the background noise in my head (all advice is greatly appreciated) and work straight on with a single task. It is possible, sometimes I feel I am totally "in" my task and don't notice my surroundings and random thoughts. But those moments are very rare.

I imagine that by achieving this goal, I will feel calm, less stressed and in control. I hopefully will make better progress, and as a result, I will feel satisfied with my efforts.How will I feel if I achieve this?

• Like Charlie when he won the golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.
• Like Harry Potter when he went shopping in Diagon Alley with Hagrid.

Happy, Content, Blissful, Grateful, and Blessed to live my life the way I want.

10 Things or Thoughts I can do to experience the feeling today:

1. Create a website for my blogs
2. Place 2 writing bids ,with full faith that I’m awarded the project.
3. Contact my local old age home and apply to become a volunteer.
4. Spend 30 minutes thinking of the person I want to become.
5. Reread the auto-suggestion chapter from “Think And Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.
6. Reread “The Secret” and capture the magic and wonder I felt on the first read.
7. Look through photo albums.
8. Shop till I drop
9. Build a vision board with pictures of all the things I like to do.
10. Meditate
11. Work Out

Soul Food

Cravings :  Sated.
Wants : Received.
Soul food : Spirit fed.

So many foods to choose from! My birthday dinner,my special lunch date or the dinner I lovingly prepared on valentine's day and house party at my cousin's place.All healthy,pure foods wonderfully prepared with special memories to accompany.I have consumed quite a bit of soul food this year nourishing body,mind and soul. Unfortunately that leaves me in a conundrum: I don’t have one thing that I ate this year that I can pick out, and if I tried, I’d be here forever. What I do love is the family time that comes from sharing a meal, even if it in front of the TV.  I like our Sunday morning ritual of having ginger tea while reading The Times of India.  Or the occasional friday night popcorn binge.  With friends, I’ve enjoyed many a cup of gourmet coffee accompanied by the odd dinner time.The disastrous recipe trials, and even the boring we’re-to0-lazy-to-cook moments become soul food when they’re accompanied by friends and family you care about.That’s just how I roll.And OMG the shooters at Love Shack, the evening before I left.. I can’t even describe how good they were, except to say that if you go ,GET. IT.

 When I think of soul food, seasonal,it changes for me. Spring: my soul food would be strawberries and pineapples. There is nothing like freckled berries that doesn't make me happy. I like it in any form,cakes,yoghurts or eating their sun drenched goodness, just as they are.

Summer:  probably popcorn, I love to escape on a hot, humid day to the theater. I love the beach, too.There is nothing like the escape of a great summer blockbuster, popcorn in hand and treasured memories of practically growing up in a theater. Popcorn is a comfort food for me, isn't that soul food. Takes you back to your roots.

Fall's soul food, would be several things, I love cauliflowers and cottage cheese.

Now this brings me to Winter.The scent of the cupcake is Christmas for me, the warmth of family, laughter and love.

If I really have to pick one,I would choose the seafood at Britto's (Goa).The seafood platter,the chicken vindaloo and the prawn something...I don't remeber the dish name,but I remeber the taste,was out an out a gastro orgasm.Well,I cannot really end with one.I cannot forget the Prawn Bags at Tasty Tangles and the Chicken Caesar's Salad at Toscano accompanied by people of my choice (love I mean : )).And none of my food ends without Tabasco.I require it for jus about everything.

We are one, after all, you and I. Together we suffer, together exist, and forever will recreate each other.

Some people search for their entire lives for what we have and never find it. I won't give up. I'll fight for you.


Well,I dont claim to be a relationship counsellor but I for sure know what relationship means for me.

As we strive to improve and strengthen our intimate relationships, it is crucial to remember that we are each individuals and we each need our space. 
Caring for our unique individual need for space can be a little tricky because we are all so very different. As individuals, some need less space than others. One partner may want to be closer and more affectionate than the other. Or, one partner may require more attention, more sex, or more care than the other.
We are all very different, with different needs and wishes.


When am heading towards a new destination,I have an year to grow to being a lady from a girl.I'm a pretty curious being and in awe of universe.And now my new interest is relationships,love,marriage.
There are lot of makeovers my life needs but exact 25 things (besides the questions I ask myself) I need to know or make as implicit as my breathing : 


1. Decide you will not get a divorce.

2. Start over each day determined to make your marriage great!

3. Forgive, forgive, forgive.

4. Remember no one is perfect.

5. Honesty is at the foundation of a good relationship.

6. Work on your own problems and shortcomings.

7. Never give up.

8. The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence... in fact there may be no grass.

9. Refuse to give in to temptation, and don't let yourself get distracted from what is truly important in life.

10. Try to improve yourself every day and be the best you can be.

11. Make sure you always express your love and appreciation.


12. A marriage is not 50/50... it is 100/100.

13. Each time you get through a problem you become stronger.

14. Have a good attitude, be positive, and get over yourself.

15. You can't be selfish and have a fantastic marriage.

16. Do everything you can with everything you have to make it work.

17. Remember the little things make the difference.

18. It is not easy and requires a lot of work.

19. The happier you are with yourself, the more you bring to the marriage.

20. Get help if you need it!

21. Love your spouse with all your heart and keep up the romance.

22. Discuss, share, talk, converse and listen....communication is essential!

23. Remind yourself of your promise to love and honor each other.


24. Put your relationship above all others.

25. Help each other, comfort each other, love each other.

When is it OK to have an affair?

Answer:NEVER!
The excuses for an affair are plentiful... we have heard them all: She listens to me; he makes me feel alive; he is my soul mate; I'm not attracted to my wife anymore; we have grown apart; I don't love him anymore; I can't help how I feel; I just don't love him anymore; I didn't intend this, it just happened; we have so much in common, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

All of the reason are just excuses, none of which are valid.

The truth is, happiness is not possible when living a life of deceit, betrayal, and lies.

Joy and cruelty just don't mix; in fact they repel one another.

Sure, it may feel exciting to have an affair. That attraction phase of a relationship is wild and crazy and powerful. No question about this. It feels good to have a new confident, intimate friend, and lover. That euphoric state is pretty intense and of course it is entrancing to be seen by someone whose view of us is clouded by those magical attraction endorphins.

Regardless, an affair is not appropriate nor does it lead to happiness, joy, or peace.

While an affair may initially feel fabulous, it will ultimately lead to misery, unhappiness, and regret.
Don't live a deceitful life that will fill your world with sorrow and unhappiness.

If you are unhappy with your relationship, either revitalize it or end it.