In Pursuit of Happiness

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life,but there is always some obstacle in the way,something to be gotten through first,some unfinished business,time still to be served,a debt to be paid.At last it dawned on me,that these obstacles were my life.This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness.Happiness is the way,so treasure every moment u have and remember that time waits for noone.

I have spend a lifetime searching for happiness;looking for peace.I chase idle dreams,addictions,religions,even people,hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues me.The irony is the only place I ever needed to search was within me.

Life changes of every minute of everyday.I lose people & I gain people.I realize my friend wasnt really my friend.I look for love.I find love & I lose love.I laugh,I cry.I do this,I do that.I really wish I hadn't done that.I have my ups & I have my downs.I see good movies,I see bad movies.I wonder if my life is just one big movie.I look at others & I wish I was them.I then realize who they are & glad that I am who I am.I love life,I hate life.In the end,I jus find myself,happy to be living,no matter what's thrown at me.

I am shaping my life into a puzzle everyday.I have taken risks & I have learnt new things but I haven't got any reward.I have lived life on the edge and now am left with nothing but I fear.I pray & pray coz all I trust now is God.I believe he will show me a way.I dont know how long my strive will continue & when will I reach my destination,nor do I know how more painful my journey would be.All I know is am still holding on to,coz the moment I think of giving up,I remember the reasons I have been holding on all these while.If I cannot do anything for my loved ones,or cannot make a memorable life,then am no good than a non-living thing.

I need some magical sunshine to live my life once again.Am in search for that unknown reason,the strive for that impossible destination but with the passion for living life and love for those I hold dear.